A'DREY [Official Blog]

“…It’s you who brings the morning
And you who takes the Sun when I sleep
You’re the only one who stuck around
For me when I was losing
Faith in what I thought I would be
You’re the only one in the dark I see…”

…Staying True

Just finished watching the latest episode on “Smash” on Hulu (if you don’t know - SMASH is a tv show about Broadway and everything what’s happening behind the stage as well as on it). Just a tiny part of the episode was portraying main writers in the series coming up with the title for their project. At the end, one of them came up with the title “Bombshell”*, which was based on her recent painful personal experience, which made me think…

…I know that about myself, but how many of you, artists, out there can relate to it - I’ve always been drawing my inspiration from my emotions, my pain, from my personal experiences, from some “dark places”. I’ve always felt like whenever art is built on raw feelings, people will be able to see it, some even relate to it; in other words, whatever you create won’t leave people indifferent to the final “product”. 

My last 3 years has been a very eye-opening and, sometimes, pretty painful experience. I think it affected how I look at a lot of things and how I create these days; it’s affected what issues/questions bother me and what things don’t touch me at all. It also has affected my priorities and the way I work with dancers. It’s funny, cuz after going through my iTunes library today, I haven’t found lots of uplifting, happy, mood-elevating music, mostly dark albums in minor, singles, EPs which make your head spin and think after you hear them; and a few “happy tunes” I have haven’t been played in forever.

Although I understand sometimes it can be too much for people to look at you/your art and always feel some sad/dark/twisted/aggressive emotions, but I feel like it’s important for me as an artist to stay true to myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my principals. It’s vital for me to have an opportunity to sound them out, “strip down” my facade and just show people what’s out there… on the inside. (Not literally, but metaphorically.)

So, for all the peeps who used to watch my upbeat fun combos on YouTube, those times most possibly have passed for me. I just kinda outgrown them, that’s why you haven’t been seeing me uploading any new videos lately. Also I’ve been MIA, cuz several video projects I’m working on are very personal, pretty dark… and, to me, pretty fu*king amazing to work on!! Me and my dancers working hard to make everything look great for you guys. So stay tuned and patient. ;]

That’s a great blog entry I wrote at 3PM on Wednesday’s sunny afternoon, don’t you think??… Lol

(*in the show, they’re working on making a musical based on a life of Marilyn Monroe)